Better sex starts with you; Sexual development can stop at any stage in life, leaving you feeling deficient, uneducated, or simply unsatisfied. Learning to identify beliefs, values, and ideals creates room for adjustment and requires introspection and patience. Read on to learn how to have great sex this year and many more to come.
Begin by letting go of social norms that highlight body-centered excitement and romantic relationships as the culmination of sexual experiences. There’s a lot to explore in terms of curating a satisfying sex life, and if you need help along the way, working with a sex therapist or teacher is a great place to start.
10 Ways You Can Have Better Sex in 2023
Start by expanding your definition of sex
Expanding the definition has the potential to open up sex life to more opportunities. If sex is defined by intercourse and genitals, then a lot is being left on the table. In a 2010 article, over 6,000 men and women revealed 41 combinations. “What is sex?” When sex is defined as a sacred energetic exchange, pleasure can naturally unfold and become more enlightened sexual experience,
Stop Satisfying All Your Needs and Desires Through Partnered Sex
Ask your partner what needs sex fulfills for them; If the list includes gentleness, spirituality, affection, tenderness, connection, love, etc., then it is an exhaustive list of needs. Instead, consider how you can meet some of these needs through other activities, other relationships (platonic or romantic), and engaging in sex for pleasure. When sex is associated with less need then the pressure is reduced when you are not having it. if you find yourself involved in sexual nostalgiaIn thinking about sex with former partners, it may be time to assess your overall relational satisfaction and consider open communication with your partner.
stop asking for sex
The more you ask for sex, the more likely it is to become a commodity rather than a shared experience. Learn to cultivate sexual energy without expectations so that you and your partner have time to be interested in having sex. When you bring up the sexual energy slowly, your partner has a chance to relax into the experience rather than be shocked by advances. Let go of the need to always feel hypersexual energy and activation, tap yin sensuality,
Become the master of after play
research highlights after sex glow There is a more important part of intimacy than reaching orgasm because of the long-term effects on the pair bond. Worry less about intense moments, more about feeling connected to your partner.
If you’re in a non-traditional relationship, try asking your partner what they need from you. Knowing that they are returning to another partner, or that you might not see them again for a while, makes this question an emotional experience that provides compassion. If in a monogamous relationship, try taking a shower together, fetching water for your partner, or simply relaxing in each other’s arms.
Consider a non-monogamous relationship
If you want to improve your sex life and are willing to explore options, you may want to consider a non-monogamous relationship. A typical reaction to this thought is, “I could never do that, I’m so jealous.” However, jealousy, like all other emotions, is neither good nor bad. You can always learn how to tools Manage jealousy. If one partner is more interested in intercourse and has erotic template With a genital focus, inviting others into the relational realm can help satisfy this need.
schedule sex
Planned sex lends itself responsive willallows time for sexual response cycle to develop. Those in long-term relationships, and a significant number of women, experience primarily reactive rather than spontaneous desire. Instead of assuming a low libido partner is because of their lack of sex drive, work on understanding it.
for cis het couples engaged in odd behaviorWomen can find themselves with less desire due to feelings of objectification and the drudgery of labor. Planned sex allows desire to feel more deliberate than expected and provides room for extensive foreplay.
engage in self-expansion
take the time to attend self-expansion, including novel sexual experiences, is associated with greater relationship satisfaction, sexual desire, and less sexual distress. Planned sex can promote novelty through new sexual activities, for example, signing up for a shibari rope course, trying new sex positions or introducing sex toys, talking dirty throughout the day, or having a date together. planning the awkward scene.
learn to say no
you may say not for sex anytime; Consent can change from moment to moment and you should never owe anyone sex. Tune in to the yes and no as you discover a different relationship with sex, for example, painful sex is a big no. Sexual trauma can cause the body to act like an alarm; When you start feeling insecure, the alarm goes off. Working with a sex therapist can help with processing trauma and feeling comfortable again.
Learning to say no can be challenging, especially because of expectation. Society has disillusioned men into believing that they are obligated to have sex. If you’ve been the recipient of hostile sexism (if you’ve set boundaries, you likely have), it’s because you’re not playing your role “right” and it can lead to inflated male egos. Is.
have more solo sex
Solo sex does not mean masturbation; Learning to have sex with yourself will help you find your voice with partners. Begin by making a list of fantasies and/or contexts that bring up your sexual desire. You can try Kegel exercises or find your own erogenous zones. If you’re not sure, turn to the pleasure you get through your senses.
If you decide you want to masturbate, instead of focusing on achieving an orgasm, focus on the sensations you are experiencing. everyone is responsible for their own happiness and learning the signs and symptoms that lead to your unique arousal. You might not have ever thought about it this way before, but solo sex has the potential to be the best sex you’ve ever had.
stop comparing your intimate life to someone else’s
Instead of worrying about how much or how little sex other people are having, focus on your ideals; There is no right or wrong in the world of sex. As Alfred Kinsey said, “The only unnatural act is that which cannot be done.” Learn to enjoy your personal sexual expression.
Having a better sex life requires more than wishing that things were different. Avoid blaming yourself for your current relationship with sex and start again instead. Better sex exists on the road to exploration. Take a step today and watch yourself on your journey to a more satisfying sex life.
