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How The Mother Wound Impacts Sexuality

Identifying as female often means looking to a mother figure for guidance on transitioning to womanhood. When the mother is injured, a woman’s sexuality can be profoundly affected.

Many women imbibe their mothers’ beliefs, values, and traumas that are often passed down through previous generations of women. Shame and judgment around sexuality and femininity can lead to a lack of openness to discover and embrace the sexual self.

What is the wound of the mother?

Women often seek approval, acceptance and guidance from the mother figure for a lifetime. Kelly McDaniel, who coined the term, mother’s hunger, writes, “is an invisible wound that exists on a spectrum.” Lack of necessary protection, rest and guidance are common causes of mother’s wounds.

All individuals are at risk of mother injury if they have an emotionally absent mother, toxic parenting, or a mother suffering from mental illness. For the purpose of this article, the focus is on the intersection of sexuality and impact on the mother-daughter relationship.

Mother is the first source escortThe first experience of finding love and attention and a harbinger of positive mental health. object relation theory interprets the infant mother’s relationship as an important influence on an individual’s growth and development toward an authentic and stable self.

Healthy peer and mother bonding is integral during development. As young girls attempt to solve psychologist Erik Erikson, Identity vs Role Confusion Stages, unsuccessful attempts can lead to poor relationships, mental health issues, and delusions about oneself.

Developing Sexuality and Motherhood

Lack of love and acceptance of the body, shedding light on the coming of menstruation and age, and shaming the growing sexuality are common themes that injure the mother. Unlike boys, who are often taught to manhood to be men, girls inevitably become women overnight. One of the few benefits of identifying as a woman in our society is if you say you are.

Learning about sexuality from peers and mainstream culture has the potential to create a heterogeneous relationship with oneself and one’s mother.

Transgender, BIPOC and sexual minority women are additional barriers to finding acceptance and modeling in our society because trends are focused too heavily on the lens of cisgender, white, heterosexual qualities and standards. identify with Feminist Values ​​can help all individuals feel a greater sense of equality and support in their well-being.

How a mother’s wound can affect relationships

Socialization occurs as a result of parenting in childhood. Gender-Role Stereotypes and Attitudes Learned by listening and watching. Sexism is easily passed on as a generational commitment to uphold the sub status of women.

Mothers who have unresolved trauma are at risk of transmitting harmful somatic and cognitive pathways to their daughters. Research Highlights attachment reorganization provides hope that intergenerational trauma, or “ghost in nursery“Can be interrupted.

Without attachment, reorganization, trauma, maladaptive thinking, dysfunctional coping mechanisms and protection values ​​can be internalized by daughters.

inner misogyny May stigmatize women’s desire to connect with and support other women. Generations have been taught to compete and disregard the power and potential of other women. In an effort to win a mate and earn financial security, some women learn to detach from their femininity.

Phrases unintentionally steeped in internal misogyny abound:

“I’m not like other girls.”

“I have more masculine qualities.”

“I get along better with people.”

Watching a mother pinch and pat herself in the mirror while changing, being told to hide her tampon, shaving her legs, or watching diets and restricted eating are all forms of insidious negative psychological messages.

Being asked to change your clothes, wipe off your makeup, or a mom who buys gossip in the neighborhood are all subtle forms. slut embarrassing, This message lends itself to the division and evolution of female identities. Madonna Prostitute Complex,

These ways of living in the world teach young women that their bodies should be stagnant, shaming, and that smaller and thinner bodies are always more beautiful. What follows is an ideal body image and a lack of compassion or acceptance for the natural feminine form.

mothers who carry their sexual trauma Often conveys the message that sex is embarrassing, dirty and unwanted. A dynamic phenomenon in which women feel unsafe to share their sexuality at home and for fear of rejection by a male-driven society.

If loving and embracing your sexuality wasn’t the norm, it could become an inside job. A job rife with misinformation, and as Emily Nagosky points out come as you Are, The media, moral and medical messages, leads to endless confusion.

how to heal mom’s wound

Healing a mother’s wound requires an objective reflection of childhood relationships that can make you feel angry or unfaithful to your mother. However, reincarnation and re-education are important.

recognize values, core beliefs And the message you got from your mom, take what you like and re-use the rest. Set boundaries in your relationship so that you can break the cycle of hurtful messages and narratives.

Understand that women are your greatest allies; Deeply connect and explore these relationships without any comparison and be a part of it women empowerment motion.

use mirror work sculpted by Louise Hay, who renders it as “the” most efficient method i have found learn to love yourself, And see the world as a safe and loving place.

discrimination The primary attachment to the mother is the process of becoming oneself as a figure. What happens after that is the bliss of individuality. You can develop your own thoughts, beliefs, and values ​​by learning to accept and respect the relationship with your mother.

When you heal your relationship with your mother, you heal yourself. Whatever your relationship, you are enough with or without his love.